He Just Hasn't Met Me Yet

I was excited for the DWTS results show tonight mostly because Michael Buble was going to perform. And as much as I will continue to make excuses for him and delude myself, it's quite possible he was drunk while singing. Which would be a pity. I hope it's something else, like he has H1N1 or has taken a lot of decongestant. He fiddled with his microphone A LOT, like he had stage fright - which I would believe if I hadn't already seen him perform in front of large audiences and not mess it up. So I will pretend he's sick and that he's not sloshed. It's happier that way.
Loved the professionals though. Anna and Jonathan, Cheryl and Maksim were great.
The encore dance was alright. Didn't love it, didn't hate it.
I have only ever heard Susan Boyle sing the one song but she did it well. Again.
And I am sure this has been said - possibly even on this blog - but I love Dance Center. Love. It. Kenny Mayne has made more out of losing than anyone, ever, I am sure.
The Design-A-Dance number was one of the better ones I think. It was interesting involving a previous celebrity - instead to two professionals - and having a guy, the costume design winner, but whatever. It was a good paso doble. Mark didn't wear high water socks or weird glasses, so that was a plus too.
And Aaron went home. Is it bad to say I was glad. I don't think Kelly will win but every week they save her makes me happy. If I had to guess, it's going to be Mya with the trophy and Joanna and Donny in second and third place. But that's just me.

This is me and the entries are shorter now that there are a manageable number of people.

You Spin Me Round

There's something about having two posts a week already decided that takes some of the stress off of this NaBloPoMo thing. I could do without the cheesey lines every single week though. "Bring it on," when they "take it to the next level," on DWTS just gets old after a while and means less than nothing. And I'm not exaggerating, it actually detracts from my enjoyment of the show. I realize I am not their typical viewer probably, but still. Credit us with a little intelligence and think up some new lines. The ratings might go up.
This week, with only five contestants, each couple does two dances and the producers have thrown in a twist - when have they not given the chance - whereby the Latin dances are each from a different decade. Oddly conceived. And it seems as though the ballroom dances are really long.
Mya's quickstep was pretty and fast and she cut out most of the tricks at the beginning but it looked like she missed her kicks in two different places. Maybe it was just me?
Aaron's foxtrot was timed nicely. I KNOW I saw him rise when he shouldn't have been and that was a lift though that's really Karina's fault. Plus, I have yet to see a pair of pants on a girl that I have liked on this show.
Joanna's quickstep was definitely fast...almost two fast. She missed steps, like she was trying too hard. I did like Derek's tuxedo though. Samantha Harris definitely needs a new career. She just doesn't interview very well and I would like to think it's the writers except Tom Bergeron is funny and not awkward so I have to think it's Sam.
Kelly's foxtrot was really fabulous, when she was committed to it. She needs the connectivity between movements to make it better and complete. And her dress I really liked.
If Donny messed up his feet in his waltz - that wasn't Viennese - I didn't catch it. It was a soft song, so it was good that the dance was gentle and easy. Kym's dress was pretty but odd for her.
That's a great mustache on Dimitri for his and Mya's 70's samba. And they did a really great routine. Samba is a party dance anyway so it worked well with disco and all that and she left the gimmick-y stuff out.
Aaron's samba via the 90's worked, I really think the music will be setting the bar in that area. Karina's dress was weird. Aaron did a good job though. He wasn't flailing or hyper, he really has grown as a dancer. Most improved for me.
Joanna's paso doble from the future - who's idea was that? - was both weird and kind of good. Their makeup was so weird but the steps really fit and it was a paso doble. Which was a bizarre concept. Lots of high scores in the Latin from the decades section.
Kelly danced a jive from the 60's that had the potential to be fantastic but was a little weak. The performance was there but the technique was lacking. Her feet were not flicking and the doll bit was excessive. Louis' sideburns were excellent though - very British.
Donny's paso doble from the 80's though, was hilarious. Maybe because I lived that decade and it was horrible in a fashion sense, it really was. The hair, the parachute pants, the make up, the lace and netting, it just was terrible. I didn't feel that Donny was a strong in his presence as he could have been. Needed more authority or something. Their song was great but what a weird image they made.

This is me and what will I talk about when this season closes?

Not Untypical Sunday

Early meetings
Squirrely kids
Boys in the girl's room
Dinner for someone else
Late meetings

This is me and it's been a long day.

Groovy Man

I think we discussed this long ago, but finally there is proof of the hipness of Tarzan and myself.
Yes, I know Halloween was a week ago, but the timing of many things just did not let me get a good picture of Tarzan and I and our costumes. But because I love you my Internet peeps, I made us get all dressed up again, in November and take a groovy picture. Just for you all.
You are welcome:
This is me, with proof.

Two Things

1. Went out this morning to find one of the cats had puked something fluorescent orange on the back porch. What are they DOING all night long? I need to get one of THESE:
2. Spent all day driving around looking for an expansion pack to Muchkin: for Tarzan to play with the young men tonight. Do you know how many parts there are to that game: About forty-five...hundred:Do you know how many stores carry the game at all, let alone the expansion packs? Maybe three. Do they know that they carry the game? No, no they do not. Oy:

This is me, and now it's time to make some pizzas for the boys.

I Am So Grossed Out Right Now

I have seen some gross things, living in The Jungle as we do, including but not limited to a Jerusalem cricket and I kid you not peeps, those puppies are GIGANTIC. Yes, yes, harmless and helpful and totally not dangerous or even likely to bite you since they are herbivores and enjoy the dark, damp dirt, like earthworms, but seriously, I walked out of the house last weekend - in the DARK - and this:

was hanging out on the back porch. (I was so freaked I didn't even bother to get the camera so I stole all these photos from the Internet.) Do you KNOW how BIG these things are? I haven't seen a bug this large ever except for tarantulas and they were always in aquariums or on TV. But this one was a few inches from my toe. I could have stepped on a bug this big:

That's three INCHES long. Three. Inches.

EW.

But, there was something even worse in my kitchen last night. Papayas were on sale this week so we picked one up to try - never had a fresh one before - and when you cut it open it looks like this:

Like barnacles on a pier, only creepier. And since it was ripe the flesh was very forgiving and once in a while one of those seeds would move or fall out of the rind. Gave me hives to dig the insides out. And the best part - it tastes nasty. I don't know what has been done to the canned ones I've eaten but the fresh one was like soft, juicy, moldy cheese.

Ew, ew, EW!

This is me, and maybe I should stick with cereal and milk.

Ode To The Happy Couple

Do you know how old I was when my parents celebrated their ninth anniversary? 7 1/2. I remember that day. My father brought home flowers and they went to dinner. How can Tarzan and I be at that same point now?

Time. It doth fly.

Nine years ago, at this moment, Tarzan and I were on our way to our hotel near the airport before we flew to Hawaii for our honeymoon. It had been a very long day and we were exhausted. But we got to the room that Tarzan's parents had graciously reserved for us and there was a HOT TUB on the balcony. A hot tub. Just for us. Outside. We weren't even nervous skinny-dipping for the first time because the water was SO nice and we really needed the relaxation. We ate pizza and root beer from room service and then went to bed.

Probably the best wedding night ever.

And I got the best husband ever for me. No one else could love me and get me like Tarzan does. With no one else I've ever known have I been able to be myself 100%. That counts for a lot with society being what it is I think.

Celebration wise tonight, we're old fogeys. Cards, I made dinner and we stayed in. For the first time since we were married Tarzan asked that we pull out the wedding album. It has some interesting memories that day and the photos dredge up the weird ones as well as the great ones, so we don't look at the book very often. We did take some new photos from tonight though. So we're toasting us here:

And smooching here:

This was the weirdest effect ever in a photo and totally unplanned:

It's kind of cool - my being transparent - but I don't know how it happened so I don't know if I could duplicate it.

This is me and we've been married for nine years.

And Now There Are Five

I suppose this demonstrates my music ignorance but who is Colbie Caillat?
Additionally, there must be a reason - and I am totally missing it - why all the female guests on the DWTS results shows are wearing black mini-dresses and gold high heels?
Ballas/Hough was a strange experience. The boys have the moves but I'm not so sure about the chords. Vocal chords that is. Mostly a heavy beat and a lot of synthesizer. And do I want to know what that was in Mark's ears?
Rod Stewart is looking a tad rumpled these days..or maybe I'm not remembering him correctly? Maybe he was always like that. Fun song anyway. Why don't his performers have proper dance shoes?
Otherwise it was a fairly tame show. Loved that the Tango group got to encore - love the song and love the steps. Len Goodman was wearing his yellow shirt again which is mighty bright. It was not a big surprise that Michael was eliminated. After his jive last night I was a little surprised that Aaron was one of the dance off-ers, but at this point, it's always a shame that someone goes home. He was better in the dance-off than Mark though so it was good that he got to stay for one more week.

This is me, can I just say that this double elimination thing is messing with my pyramid chart.

Shot Through The Heart

I always love it when the professionals dance. That's my favorite part of Dancing With The Stars. In fact, that's the only reason I watch the show at all.
But we're getting down to a manageable group now, and despite my whining, the ones that are left are indeed getting better.
Michael Irvin being not my favorite. He doesn't sell it, and I think some of it comes from his being an athlete not a performer, and I wonder if he's just not comfortable. His foxtrot was good - they're back to dances we've already seen - but he still doesn't extend his lines as much as he could and it looks stunted. Just a bit. He DID design a gorgeous dress for Anna though.
Donny Osmond, on the other hand, did NOT design a nice dress for Kym in their quickstep. The dance was fast, his posture was good and the monkey suit was classy.
Mark Dacastos - my Iron Chef buddy - has improved dramatically. Probably the most of them all. His samba was not all that it could have been, but considering his week, with Lacey sick and going through two other partners, it was not too bad. I definitely noticed Tony's work on Mark's costume - anyone like a gauze shirt cut to the navel? - and Anna's was not pretty at all. There were some good parts.
Mya has always been good, so it's more refinement and connection with her partner. She had a gorgeous dress too for her foxtrot. I would like to comment that I don't think Bruno knows who Lena Horn is. He always compares celebrities to her but I think it's just a name he's heard somewhere.
Aaron Carter is young and I think it shows - Bruno has certainly made enough jokes about the boy becoming the man - but the jive is a young dance so it fit. And he was pretty hot. I think he made one misstep but it didn't screw the rest of the dance up and it was fast - super fast - and quick. The song was awesome and the costumes -again -were fantastic. I wonder if the celebrities should do the outfitting all the time.
Every time Kelly Osbourne dances I get tense and in part it's because I want her to be good and when she does well she does really well, but when she mess up it's a royal obvious one. There were a few hesitations in her salsa but overall it was very good. The pants on Louis were terrible so I was really glad when he took them off.
Joanna Krupa was wearing the ugliest swimsuit I have ever seen on a person during their little promo video. Her hair was cute for their rumba routine but I didn't feel it. She needed more hip action and she messed up one of the - many - poses. Eh, not my favorite of hers.
Now, the team dances I love. Especially when it's the paso doble. And I do enjoy me some 'O Fortuna.' I thought the paso doble team was fairly good - the synchronicity fell apart a bit at the end.
My question to the professionals is, wouldn't you know how long a skirt can be before it gets in your way? And isn't dress rehearsal supposed to indicate if the costume is going to mess you up?
Team tango, on the other hand, was spectacular! I usually side with the paso doble people, but not tonight. It was smokin'. They were all together, it worked. I thought Kelly did awesome. The ending was excellent. So, so, great.
That was the way to end a show.

This is me, and it's dancin' time.

With This Ring

Welcome to NaBloPoMo 2009 friends and neighbors.
Tarzan thinks he's lost his wedding ring and it's making him increasingly depressed. While I certainly don't see it as symbolic of anything dire, our anniversary is in three days and the absence of the ring bothers him. A lot.
It also bothers him that he can't remember where he was when he had it last - he was tapping it against something hard - so that's also giving him fits. We're looking but with no idea of the starting place, eight hundred square feet is a lot to search, especially when the not obvious places are all dusty - it's not under the couch or treadmill - or covered with piles of paper - it's not on either of our desks. I'm sure we will find it eventually but Tarzan is missing it pretty hard.
What's your most frantic lost story? It'll make us feel better that the ring doesn't have to be fed or watered or anything while it's gone.

This is me, and we're looking high and low.